God-Wrestling

So my pastor preached on "impudent" prayer this last Sunday, and I really haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since.  The idea is that Jesus invited his followers to bang on the door of heaven and not just settle for no answer, but to be persistent to the point of impudence (check out how the ESV translates "persistence" in Luke 11:8, or the story of the widow in Luke 18:1-8).  It really got me to question how many prayers God has not answered in my life because He wanted me to lose my "politeness" and keep knocking with desperation until he answered.  Maybe what I've always defined as "submission to God's will" is actually passivity.  Maybe my faith needs a bit more ferocity. 

Which leads me to Jacob.  In Genesis 32, Jacob wrestles all night with a mysterious "man."  As daylight is breaking, the "man" clearly shows his physical dominance over Jacob by dislocating his hip with just a touch.  At this point, Jacob is in real physical agony - but he is unwilling to let go of the "man" until the "man" blesses him.  In the book of Genesis, the greater always blesses the lesser.  By asking for a blessing, it seems like Jacob is being impudent, or arrogant, or selfish.  We think, "There he goes again, only thinking about himself.  If God tells you to let him go, you let him go!"  But Jacob is actually just acknowledging his lower position before the "man" and his desperation for that "man" to pour blessing into his life.  In fact, from the text there is reason to believe that Jacob knows that he is actually wrestling with God Himself, and if the sun rises and Jacob sees the face of his opponent, he will die. 

So in effect what he's saying is, "I would rather die than live my life without your blessing - and I'm not going to stop, I'm not going to let go until you decide to bless me.  That's how badly I WANT it and how badly I NEED it.  I'll wait for it - if you decide to hold off blessing me, I'll still be here, holding on, hanging on, crying out for you to bless me."  Not very polite.  But, to our great surprise, it's effective.

The man does, in fact, bless him, and in the process, he changes Jacob's name (yet another reason to believe from the text itself that Jacob knows that he is wrestling with someone greater than him) from "Conniver" to "God-Wrestler," and says this:  "for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed."  Now, if  God thought that Jacob's request for blessing was arrogant, or insolent, or out-of-place, or inappropriate, isn't that the best time to bring it up?  Instead, God gives Jacob and all of his future descendants a new identity - that of the "God-wrestlers." 

And this pattern is repeated over and over again.  God wants to destroy the children of Israel, but Moses won't "let" him in Exodus 32-34.  God wants to punish these idolatrous "God-wrestlers" (and boy, let me tell you, they deserve it) all throughout the Kingdom and the Prophets, but whenever they cry out to him in prayer, with repentance, He delays his judgment or cancels it altogether.  It's almost as if God is inviting his people to wrestle with him, to ask him for great things, to seek his blessing above all others, even when he seems silent, or unapproachable, or disinterested.  In fact, the people seem to be at their worst not when they are insolent or impudent in their objections to God's actions in the world (think Habakkuk or many of the psalmists) but when they are apathetic and take God for granted, dutifully and politely bringing the sacrifices to God but not involving him in the everyday struggles of their lives (think Isaiah 1). 

So, God wants us to wrestle with Him when he seems silent and unresponsive.  Why?  Because we know that He really isn't.  He really DOES care - He really DOES want to heal the brokenness of the world.  He really DOES invite us to partner with Him in bringing healing and a preview of the God's coming kingdom to the world.  We know what God wants to do - we just don't know the timing or the method that God wants to use to bring it about.  God created us to be moved by the brokenness of the world around us, and when we come face to face with that brokenness, it is our place to cry out to Him for healing and restoration.  When it seems as though evil is having the final word in our lives, or our kids, or our church, or our nation, we need to bring it before him and refuse to let go until he brings about the deliverance that we KNOW He desires to bring.  That's our job. 

I know that doesn't solve all the mysteries, wipe away all the tears, or cancel out all the disappointment in this thing called prayer.  But it gives me a way forward, a path laid out at my feet to follow.  God isn't some genie in a bottle, here to do MY will and make me wealthy and fat, but He has invited me into His mission.  I am His co-laborer at his bidding.  When I see hurts and wrongs and injustice, I'm going to bang on the door of heaven until he answers.  I know it's not polite, but I'm learning I haven't been called to be polite - I've been called to wrestle with God.